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This Socrates Idiot

[▲ 32] an hour ago swedish_meatballs_99 wrote:

My English teacher is making us read these “Platonic dialogues” and I’m starting to understand why people go and shoot up their schools. Jesus Christ, this Socrates guy is such a fucking moron I have no idea why anyone decided to write this shit down.

Like listen to this shit:

You see, then, that a doubt about the reality of sense is easily raised, since there may even be a doubt whether we are awake or in a dream. And as our time is equally divided between sleeping and waking, in either sphere of existence the soul contends that the thoughts which are present to our minds at the time are true;

HE SLEEPS 12 HOURS A DAY. And he’s supposed to be the best they had in ancient Greece? No wonder it took another 10 thousand years to invent electricity.

And all of this was written down by Plato, who in addition to being another complete idiot was also a giant fucking Socrates fanboy, so half of it reads like some middle school girl’s tumblr blog. Like, the dialogue is so unbelievably fake. Literally none of the other characters ever says anything but “yes, true, of course Socrates” and they’re all basically identitcal to each other.

So they put him on trial for being an annoying piece of shit, and then he goes and gives the worst apology in the world. He starts by saying that he “admits that he is elequent,” then in the same paragraph says that he is “quite a stranger to the language of this place.” WTF. How can you pretend not to speak English when you’re in the middle of a speech about how fucking smart you are?

Then he start arguing with Meletus, who’s clearly the worst lawyer in the world,and says a bunch of dumb shit about horses and pretends it has anything to do with the trial.

So of course he loses his case, since literally anyone could have come up with a better apology than that. Let me try:

I’m sorry for harassing people in the streets with stupid questions that have obvious answers, and for acting like a giant smartass all the time. From now on I won’t bother anyone and will just stay home with Mrs. Socrates so we can work through out alcohol addictions together.